The Kentucky Derby Festival has been going on for a couple of months now. Well, okay, it’s only been two and a half weeks, with an extra early start so Thunder Over Louisville wouldn’t conflict with Passover. The celebrities are starting to arrive, and you can’t find a decent baseball story in the local newspaper.
Oh wait, that last part is true year-round.
I haven’t really paid a whole lot of attention to the Derby hopefuls this year. As usual, they have a full field of 20, which is an awful lot of horseflesh on the track at once. I’d like to see it limited to about 14, but with the entry fees they charge and the publicity the big fields generate, that’s highly unlikely. Maybe when Churchill Downs puts in Polytrack (as in, it ain’t gonna happen, folks).
I won’t be attending the Derby, but I might be able find a friend who’s going to place a bet for me. The most exotic bet I’m likely to make is a three-horse exacta box. An exacta means you pick the horses that finish 1-2 in the correct order (say, A-B). If you box those two, they can finish in either order (A-B or B-A), but it’s two bets. If you box three, you’re actually placing 6 bets (A-B, A-C, B-A, B-C, C-A, C-B). Since I am strictly a $2 better, this would be a $12 bet. If I’ve been at the track awhile and haven’t won any money, I’m grateful that they allow $1 exacta boxes, and I spend $6 (and only get half the price announced for the standard $2 bet).
Naturally, with so much money on the line, I take a very serious approach to making my picks. I look over the entries very carefully before I decide. Since those of you still reading already made it through the exacta explanation, I won’t bore you with my analysis of all twenty horses. But here’s a selection:
If I can’t pronounce the name, it’s out. So there will be no Anak Nakal in my box.
If it shares a name with someone in my family, it’s probably in. Hello, Colonel John!
If it sounds like someone likely to commit arson, I don’t think so. Pyro’s a no-go.
If it sounds Celtic, a definite possibility. And having last year’s winning jockey Calvin Borel on board clinches a spot for Denis of Cork.
If it’s named after a boy-toy, kiss it good-bye. Big Truck doesn’t run for me.
If it’s a girl, let her in! Eight Belles takes the third and final spot in my box and is my hope to become the fourth filly to win the roses.
Others I’d consider: Big Brown (truth be told, he’s out mostly because he’s coming from the number 20 post, but that sounds too much like actual handicapping), Bob Black Jack, and Gayego.
You can find all the horses and their post positions here. Just in case your paper didn’t devote the entire front page to it this morning.
Update, Mr. B likes Big Brown, so we’re going to town and throwing him into a FOUR horse exacta box. Be still, my beating heart.
